Yesterday was a challenge.
I went to the doctors to get some more meds and took the opportunity to explain exactly how much I was struggling with my eating at the moment. I guess I was expecting the doctor to come up with some idea I'd not thought of yet, some sort of cure, anything. Instead, he came up with nothing I hadn't tried already and couldn't seem to understand my frustration that these things didn't work or couldn't practicably be carried off.
It also appears that he's leaving at the end of the month. I asked who I should look to for a replacement and he only page that all of the doctors at the surgery were perfectly nice and understanding. All I could think of was the first doctor I saw there, whose only suggestion was to 'pull [myself] together'.
Needless to say, by the time I left I was feeling thouroughly demoralised and upset.
I didn't want to go to OA after all that, I didn't have the energy for it.
Last night's topic was acceptance. It's so frustrating the way people make acceptance seem so easy. But I have trouble with acceptance.
To me, actually being able to accept has a lot to do with being able to give things over to your higher power, relinquishing control of yours actions, and more especially your emotions, to something or someone greater than yourself.
But what happens when you and your higher power are having issues and you find that you just can't give over that control. What happens when that first step of 12 depend on the relationship between you and your higher power and the two me you just can't pull it together?
I went to the doctors to get some more meds and took the opportunity to explain exactly how much I was struggling with my eating at the moment. I guess I was expecting the doctor to come up with some idea I'd not thought of yet, some sort of cure, anything. Instead, he came up with nothing I hadn't tried already and couldn't seem to understand my frustration that these things didn't work or couldn't practicably be carried off.
It also appears that he's leaving at the end of the month. I asked who I should look to for a replacement and he only page that all of the doctors at the surgery were perfectly nice and understanding. All I could think of was the first doctor I saw there, whose only suggestion was to 'pull [myself] together'.
Needless to say, by the time I left I was feeling thouroughly demoralised and upset.
I didn't want to go to OA after all that, I didn't have the energy for it.
Last night's topic was acceptance. It's so frustrating the way people make acceptance seem so easy. But I have trouble with acceptance.
To me, actually being able to accept has a lot to do with being able to give things over to your higher power, relinquishing control of yours actions, and more especially your emotions, to something or someone greater than yourself.
But what happens when you and your higher power are having issues and you find that you just can't give over that control. What happens when that first step of 12 depend on the relationship between you and your higher power and the two me you just can't pull it together?
posted by vic at 21:48
1 Comments:
I totally have a problem with acceptance too. good luck. tell me if you find anything that helps!
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home